Quick update: Currently working (albeit very slowly) on new artwork. Planning to build a site....(found a free host that sounds so good its inspiring!) Thinking of moving my blog.... sad sad is I'll lose all my old entries cos I'm too lazy to manually copy & transfer. Waiting for reply from UCe on my application. I'm all in favor of going to Sunderland, but mom (the voice of reality) says I should consider BA Visual Comm since UCE might offer me advanced entry to year 2 instead of year 1. I would love love love to study for 3 years instead of 2.... but ah. Reality beckons, but I am reluctant to answer. Despite the probability of saving the parents RM 50 - 100K.... >.< I'm telling you all the wealth in the world is DEFINITELY not equally distributed. Reality SUCKS. On a good note, I am in love. His initials are M.P., and he's so sexy and totally hot. He definitely turns me on. =3 28 June, 2006, 9:28 pm-BIRMINGHAM
Dear ladies n gents... it looks like UCE Birmingham is winning the race. Fingers crossed. I'm going to UK! Busy busy busy.... 23 June, 2006, 2:03 am-SINFUL
Chocolate ice cream is GOOD. I cant say its better than sex since I've never had the latter.... but oh my oh my... chocolate ice cream is *meow*.
10 June, 2006, 9:17 pm-A WHOLE NEW WORLD
Mood swings are a bad thing. Self hate is equally bad. Mediocrity is worse. I'm crawling out of it, over it. Until it hits me again, 'nuff said.
For the past 2 weeks I have been hooked on reading *gasp* celebrity gossip blogs ... (thanks to links on Angel's blog). Check out:
The Superficial
Celebrity Smack
Yes, there is no greater human interest than human tragedy/scandal. Despite the commercialism, superficiality & crassness of it all, I have succumbed to the lure of the worldly world 'news'. HOwever, I have learned many new lessons of vocabulary & of life.
1. "Ho" is a bad word. It has turned from an innocent 2 alphabet sound, into a noun that describes a loose woman with no morals. It is usually preceded by the adjective skanky and followed by the name Paris Hilton. What we are witnessing is the evolution of the English language. Should we now arrest dear old Santa for repeatedly saying dirty words in front of little children? .... "Ho ho ho..."
2. God has it wrong. We should have sex & a few children first, then only get married... or better yet don't get married at all.Our beloved idols Brangelina & TomKat... are setting a great moral example for the world. Who gives a crap about fornication & premarital sex, just ditch the condoms & hump away. We should 'test drive' our partners first before committing to marriage. Or better yet, don't get married at all. It'll save all those lawyer hassles when divorce rolls around.
3. Men who are fugly, snort coke & squirt blood at people are extremely desirable. Brilliant example being Kate Moss and her royally ugly weirdo boyfriend Pete Doherty. I don't know what weird alternate universe she's living in, but no amount of inner beauty, brilliant wit or even the bestest-biggest whang in the whole wide world can justify dating that.... Thing called Pete D.
4. Being skinny is good... in the case of Nicole Richie... the skinnier you are the better, because you can save on buying bras (Damn they're expensive!!), save on tampons (too skinny until ovaries shut down), and never have to worry about any flabby saggy bits, because there's no leftovers from the skin stretched taut over the bones. And yes, despite looking like a malnourished 10 year old boy, men will still find you attractive and sexy.
5. "Fire cr*tch" is actually a word. Wow. Now what did I say about the English Language evolution.... When applied to a certain Lindsay, does it refer to the fact that she's a natural redhead (even in the Land Down Under), or that she has some sort of terrible urinary/vaginal infection that causes a burning sensation??? Go figure. Obviously celebs have a WAAAAAAY better command of the language than we do.
That's all the musings I have for today. On an honest note, all that mudslinging and celebrity catfights ARE amusing. =3
Mood: Amused-ditzy
Reason: Too much tabloid junk reading
BGM: Cheyenne Kimball- One original Thing
01 June, 2006, 4:38 am-DEPRESSION
Hit me that I'm acting more and more like a damn super biatch (more beechy than usual), high maintenance & super-damn-spoilt-rich-KL-brat ish as the days go by. I feel so disappointed in myself. I'm not even an original KL-ian, and I sure am hell am not anywhere near rich. Sneering at food when it doesnt suit my 'low' standards ("oh that, so-so lah"), being very sarcastic to little bro, wheedling parents into buying stuff I want but dont need (eg unnecessary clothes & digital art magazines). My dad had a mini explosion today, directed at my lil bro... and I could sense his stress. Up till now he has been "go go go! We'll support you."... I guess his spendthrift daughter (ME) has really been taking her parents for granted. I am gonna make sure I cut down on unnecessary spending. Biatchyness HAS to drop down a few levels (got scolded by mom for being too abrasive), and the blase-spoilt-rich-city-brat attitude HAS to go. Its the depression of the economy, and me.
Just after indulging in some serious self-sneering-self-bashing-self-hating mental monologues, a lot of praying and some readjustments, I managed to put myself back on the straight and narrow path.... It's one thing to be the sarcastic, weird biatch, but its absolutely NO NO uncool (in my book) to be a bitchy, spoilt, blase, egocentric, parent-abusing bratty little girl. My feet have trouble staying on the hard and rough path to self improvement.God only knows how many times I've strayed....what does that say about my strength of character?
Yes. Someone gave me a link to this deviant art site, which had links to even more deviant art site.... which was too cool for words. The arts and concepts were great. Skills way way WAAAAYYY beyond mine. Some are even commissioned & freelancing & published in damn magazines! It makes me so damn depressed (I'm feeling majorly useless sluggy now) to realise just how crappy and AVERAGE my work is. You know, being average is WORSE than being just plain lousy. When you suck, at least you suck all the way. But when you're average.... its like "oh. that. *YAWN*". Dont know what Im talking about, go to deviantart & search for this guy/girl called "kuro-tsuki". Be wowed. Be amazed. Be absolutely sure that I'm nowhere near that high pedestalish level. I am a MEDIOCRE artist. I hate mediocrity. I hate my mediocrity. I hate my lazy ass, easily bummed self. Hate is a very very strong word.
I think I'll try to sleep this one off. Then in the clear light of day, hopefully things will look better, and I'll somehow find my unfaithful guts again....
Everytime I think I've made a step forward in progress, I get a cold splash from reality- "YOU SUCK. Look at that #^&*@^&#*! genius XYZ....."...I am impatient. I am weak. I am a damn sissy coward. And I hate sissy cowards too. SO what does that say about my racist-sissy-cowardly-semi-depressed-dramakween self?
Mood: Down and dejected.
Reason: MY MEDIOCRITY? MY SELFISHNESS? MY STUPID STUPID SHIT MOODSWINGS???? WHO THE HELL CARES??!!!
BGM: Keith Urban- Nobody drinks alone
